Confessions.

Zero-Optix said:
Justnuts that is so wrong!

When I was 4 years old I was playing with my puppy and it got really hot, so I stuck him in the freezer. I just went into watch cartoons. My mom came home and found him in the freezer some hours later. Man I was sad.
Click to expand...
omg thats bad
 
One time when i was around 6 I hadn't pooped in a couple of days and I was amazingly constipated. I was trying to poop and my mom noticed that I was in the bathroom for around a half hour. She knocked and asked what was wrong. I told her I couldn't poop. She took some weird cone thing and shoved it up my ass. It loosened things up and twenty minutes later my bowels were flowing freely.
 
When I was little, the house I lived in had an unfinished basement. For some reason, my friend and I would always piss on the concrete in the little alcove underneath the stairs. There was no drain or anything, I don't know what the hell we were thinking. Anyway, eventually my mom noticed and I said it looked like somebody spilled something. She replied that it smelled like pee, so I blamed it on my kitty who had his litter box in the same room. I don't think she believed me, but she did scrub up my pee :lol:
 
When I was about 4 or so, I had to go pee in the middle of the night. So I climbed out of bed and stood there for a second, then laid down and went pee pee under my bed.
 
I would crawl into my moms room and sleep in her bed when i was little because i had abandonment issues. I'm pretty sure i pee'd in her bed more than once.

which reminds me, I spent the night at my friends on an air mattress when i was 15, and I drooled all over it, everywhere. after I woke up and checked the front of my pants to see if it was piss, I quickly rolled up the mattress before he woke up so that he wouldn't see all the drool and think i peed everywhere.

**NOT FUNNY**
Spoiler
 
Last edited:
My buddy and I were working on a tree fort in my back yeard when I was 8 or so. He was on the highest "platform" which was a good 15 feet up in the air. He asked me to grab him a hammer to secure a board so I rummaged around, found one then called up to see if he was ready to catch it. He said something back, to which I replied "OK" and threw the hammer up to him. It crested the platform just as he was turning around and the sight of the hammer must have scared him shitless because he jumped back in shock and fell off the back side of the fort. He fell into a big pile of brambles and got 6 nails stuck in his back. I was grounded for like a month.

Got busted stealing candy from a Sugarcreek.

Played many rounds of doctor with my extremely hot female friend when I was young.

EDIT: Just last year I went out and got plastered. I black out for a good 2-3 hours and when I awoke I was in my bed... but was soaking wet. Now just for background, I was an RA in a freshman dorm at the time so when I woke up next to one of the hottest residents I was giddy with delight, but saddened by my lack of urinary control. I nudged her and said "Vicky, wake up," to which she grumbled incoherently. "Vick wake up, you pissed the bed."

Not only did she accept the blame, but she did my sheets the next day.
 
Last edited:
i learned crushing glass ornaments with your hands is dangerous. when i was 5

my hands were are sliced up
 
when i was 12 or so i was at my grandma's house watching a movie on tv in her kitchen. she was out of the room doing something. i had the urge to pee really bad but didnt want to miss anything of the movie. so i grabed a chair, stood on it, and pissed in the sink, while keeping focus on the tv. i just ran some water after i was done and sat back down. :shrug:
 
So this one time, I was at a Mexican restaurant with some friends and one of them ordered a fajita plate. The waitress delivered it and said "the plate is hot." Then I said "Bah, it can't be that hot." I went to grab the handle, thinking it wouldn't be hot. Five seconds later, my hands were burning and I ran to the bathroom to stick them under cold water for five minutes. I spent the rest of the night with my hands next to ice.

This happened only a couple months ago.
 
for future reference, you want lukewarm water, not ice. Got a nasty burn that peeled off about 2 days ago from a lightbulb.
 
I touched the plate and removed my hands immediately afterwards. Initially, I felt no pain, then it felt like burning all of a sudden.

And, yes, lukewarm water was what I learned afterwards. If only I had known better.
 
X-mas shopping this year, not but a week ago I was in front of this elderly lady while going up a odd slim escalator, it was wide enough for pretty much just one person. I let out a silent fart, but not one of this quick poot's, but one of those slow realease gag fests. This poor old lady was right at ass level, so I just walked away leaving her in a haze of torture.

Also as a child, my sister and I used to hold our kitten over the toilet and flush and watch that fucker flip his shit. Kitten is now 17 and hates sister with a passion I have never seenk literally jumps on her back and bites her neck, while I laugh. Cat loves me to death by the way, my cat knows it's bro's b4 hoe's.
 
I havent played tribes competitely for over 4 years, and yet I still wear my team's tag on irc (because im too lazy to get rid of it). and I still have TW set to my homepage. (because i love the forums).

I'm so ashamed.
 
i banged this guy i know's girlfriend while he was out of town for 2 weeks

when he got back, i went over to his house, put my feet up on his couch and told him his girlfriend was a slut

he would'a found out anyways.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top