Confessions.

Durak said:
oh no kron, I bet evil ted put you up to it and you just repressed those memories
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Nah man, I actually disposed of waist all the time outside at my house, from like the age of 4 to 7 before I moved.

There was the "piss corner" at my house. It was a little right angle where the side of my house met with the back. One day I killed a spider there, and pissed on it. I had 2 friends over, and they were like, you know I gotta piss too. After that, anyone needed to piss, they would goto the piss corner.
 
when i was very little (5-8 or so) i loved those hottub jets. i'd just let my shorts slide off and let the hottub do the work. still not so sure how that one worked out so well.
 
rode bike and steered it with two metal pipes when I was 10, front tire went sideways, I went flying over into cement curb, now I have a false front tooth.
 
QUESTION: Why did it feel so good to climb up poles slowly?

Unrelated Story: My mom took my brother and I shopping at a health food store before tee-ball practice. My mom was at the register paying for stuff as I wandered through the aisles of organic and natural foods. I came to the end of one aisle and looked up to see a huge dispenser of golden honey just waiting to be freed. I reached up and turned the nossle and covered my finger with the oozing gold. With my mouth watering I put it in my mouth and licked it dry, savoring the taste of what turned out to be some environmentally friendly laundry detergent.

Needless to say, I was shocked and with a shameful look of disgust and agony on my face I went up to the register and told my mom. I hated the clerk cause I knew he knew I tried stealing honey. My mom took me home and had me drink milk and all sorts of stuff to get the taste out of my mouth. I had to sit on the sidelines watching my team play tee-ball without me. My throat hurt and I was unhappy.

I never played tee-ball again because I hated my coach for refering to me as the kid in the Mickey Mouse hat and not by my name. What an asshole.

The End.
 
Best Threads of '04 Tour bump!

Also, there should be NO DEFENSE OFFERED for these things. If you defend them it's not really a confession. :lol:

Another contribution:

When I was in 8th grade and was only 5'4" 105lbs, I got picked on quite a bit, and was friends with a couple of other kids that also got picked on. For the most part, I got along with everyone, but there are always a couple of kids with troubled home lives and premature puberty that would take out their anger and frustration on weaker kids, and at this point I was one of those weaker kids.

This big kid, he was on ALL of the sports teams. Loved them. Was about 6' tall in 8th grade. (The next year, my growth spurt would hit, and the year after my growth spurt when I saw him next he was still 6' and about 160lbs, while I was my current 6'4" 220). He made me and my best friend miserable, and one day after we'd both been punched in the stomach by this kid -- this was one of those things that would just go around schools, like guys hitting each other in the balls -- we decided that we were going to do something to hurt him. Not to make it stop or anything, because we knew that without this kid doing it the next biggest kid would probably take over, it's a law of nature, but just to HURT him.

We both had a class with him, and we made sure that one or the other of us always ended up in the row in front of him. We would fill in fake tests and quizzes for him whenever possible, and even steal his homework out of the pile and replace it with our altered version.

This continued the whole semester, and by winter, he was flunking. And he didn't understand it! He went to the teacher in tears, because he was going to -- oh yeah -- be INELIGIBLE for any sports! Well . . . wah lil fag0t?

No sports for him.

In retrospect, yeah, I'm sorry about it. :rofl: His parents were divorced, he came from a poor family; sports were all he had. But not at the time, not at all.
 
justnuts said:
When I was 20, I met some drunk chick in a town about 17 miles away. She was pretty much all over me, so I brought her back to this town, and we drove down this long mostly deserted back road that dead ended in the woods.
I gave her the "I think I'm in love with you" thing, so she was pretty quick to disrobe right there in the car. So i fucked her for about a half hour in the car, then told her it would be "romantic" to do it outside, up against the back of the car.
So, we get out, and she puts her hands on the trunk, and I commence to fuck her in the small hole, for about another 15 minutes. Then I told her I that I'd love to blow my load on her breasts, so she turned around and got on her knees, so of course I busted all over her face.
I acted all apologetic, and told her I'd get her something to wipe off with, and went to the car. But instead of doing so, I hopped in and took off, with her running naked after the car. I yelled out, "That's what you get for being a whore!" and tossed out an article of her clothing about every hundred feet. The pants and shirt got tossed out at the intersection to the main (and very busy) road.
Ah, good times!
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Are you fucking serious? If so you are a faggot.
 
Man, some of these confessions, if true, well...I wouldn't be sleeping too well at night. Guess I'm one of "those" that has a bothersome conscious. Hell, it still bothers me to recall that as a youth I shot a couple of songbirds with a pellet rifle and killed a couple of frogs with firecrackers. Just plain unnecessary kid type cruelty.

I will however confess to going to a local topless bar called "Starvin' Marvin's" with some friends on a Saturday night and picking up some "I'm Starvin' for Marvin's" bumper stickers. After Marvin's closed we went over to Reverend Slater's house (his son was a friend of ours) and placing the bumper sticks on the back of his car.

That morning the Reverend went to his Sunday sermon and parked his car in the church parking lot not knowing about the bumper stickers. It caused a bit of a stir with his congregation and certainly pissed him off royally. He went to his grave never knowing who did it and we never bothered to tell our friend (his son) either.

Oh yeah, peed in the pool a few times when I was a kid.
 
loop said:
In third grade I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade I stole my Uncle Max's toupe and I glued it on my face when I played Moses in my Hebrew school play. In fifth grade I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog...

...the worst thing I ever done, I mixed up all this fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theatre, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony, and then, then I made a noise like this. Huagh. Huagh. Huagh. Huaaah! And, and then I dumped it over the side on all the people in the audience. Then, th-then then this was horrible, all the people started getting sick, and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.
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Liar! You're out of the Goonies.
 
Risuli said:
Man, some of these confessions, if true, well...I wouldn't be sleeping too well at night. Guess I'm one of "those" that has a bothersome conscious. Hell, it still bothers me to recall that as a youth I shot a couple of songbirds with a pellet rifle and killed a couple of frogs with firecrackers. Just plain unnecessary kid type cruelty.

I will however confess to going to a local topless bar called "Starvin' Marvin's" with some friends on a Saturday night and picking up some "I'm Starvin' for Marvin's" bumper stickers. After Marvin's closed we went over to Reverend Slater's house (his son was a friend of ours) and placing the bumper sticks on the back of his car.

That morning the Reverend went to his Sunday sermon and parked his car in the church parking lot not knowing about the bumper stickers. It caused a bit of a stir with his congregation and certainly pissed him off royally. He went to his grave never knowing who did it and we never bothered to tell our friend (his son) either.

Oh yeah, peed in the pool a few times when I was a kid.
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that was so weak, subtract four from your title and give it to me.
 
Came home so loaded one night from a party,I found this really cool lighter at this party.I started to play with this lighter while taking a shit when I got home,I was just burning the fringe of this towel that was on the hamper (hamper was made of bamboo).So I got bored really quick so I stopped and put the towel in hamper.

after about 2 minutes I noticed the hamper was smoking,I opened the hamper and the lineing of the hamper was on fire,(remember I was high as fuck) I rolled up this newspaper and began to try and put the fire out,I finally got it out but the newspaper caught on fire so I shoved it in the toilet.

I go to open the window and let some smoke out and I am praying no one smells the smoke (I still hadnt finished taking my shit let alone wipe my ass) by this time the paper that I shoved in the toilet had burned its way upward and caught the toilet seat on fire...at this time my sister opens the door and begins to scream that I am trying to burn the house down.

Ok Picture this your brother who is high with his pants around his ankles trying to break a toilet seat that is on fire ....well my dad pokes his head in and I finally pull up my pants get yelled at get smacked in the head and after all was said and done I STILL DIDN'T WIPE MY ASS

Cliffs:
was high
found lighter at party
high people shouldnt play with lighters
remember to first wipe your ass
 
Deusii said:
Came home so loaded one night from a party,I found this really cool lighter at this party.I started to play with this lighter while taking a shit when I got home,I was just burning the fringe of this towel that was on the hamper (hamper was made of bamboo).So I got bored really quick so I stopped and put the towel in hamper.

after about 2 minutes I noticed the hamper was smoking,I opened the hamper and the lineing of the hamper was on fire,(remember I was high as fuck) I rolled up this newspaper and began to try and put the fire out,I finally got it out but the newspaper caught on fire so I shoved it in the toilet.

I go to open the window and let some smoke out and I am praying no one smells the smoke (I still hadnt finished taking my shit let alone wipe my ass) by this time the paper that I shoved in the toilet had burned its way upward and caught the toilet seat on fire...at this time my sister opens the door and begins to scream that I am trying to burn the house down.

Ok Picture this your brother who is high with his pants around his ankles trying to break a toilet seat that is on fire ....well my dad pokes his head in and I finally pull up my pants get yelled at get smacked in the head and after all was said and done I STILL DIDN'T WIPE MY ASS

Cliffs:
was high
found lighter at party
high people shouldnt play with lighters
remember to first wipe your ass
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:rofl:

That is great.

Of course, you got caught, but it's a confession to TW.

(Quick link to the great short story that this thread reminds me of . . . . mp3 of author reading it aloud; 2 people fainted during this reading, as is mentioned at the end. :rofl:)
http://www-personal.umich.edu/~mcneal/mirror/guts.mp3
 
i shit my pants once.. when i was way too old to shit my pants

i stole a wicked hockey card from one of my friends that was my favourite - and i still have it

i used to cry when i slept over at my friends houses.. and walk home in the middle of the night
 
oochie said:
I learned a person should not look directly at a pepper spray keychain to figure out what the fuck it is.
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I can vouch for this one as well except I was 10 and in a doctor office
 
When I was in first grade, me and this friend I had were working together on a picture during a break. We decided for some reason to draw this big picture of a guy getting shot at, stabbed, burned, bombed, etc. It was funny because we tried to think of what race this "enemy" of our's would be, and I specifically remember going through a list of countries I knew of and deciding that they simply couldn't be enemies. I also knew it couldn't be a black person because I knew black people from church. So, we decided this guy would be oriental, and drew him with slanted eyes. I had just drawn, like, tanks shooting at him and stuff. But my friend decided to draw a stick of dynamite in his crotch and cleverly add a stream of piss originating in that general area too.

The break ended; I hid the drawing in my backpack. Later that night my parents called me into the kitchen and asked me to explain something, they then held up the drawing and I saw that my backpack was on the floor by one of their chairs. I was slightly ashamed, but mostly angry that my parents would go through my backpack without me knowing it. I also hurriedly explained that the dynamite part was drawn by my friend.

This isn't much of a confession, but I thought it interesting. Because, at the age of 6, I had some impression that if we were going to draw a picture of a guy we were gonna kill, he couldn't be German or Russian or something like that because we already had wars with them, and he couldn't be African because that was racist; so, he had to be asian.
 
mine aren't that bad but have probably saved me a place in hell since both have taken place on hallowed ground

When I was about 17 this drunk girl came over to my house, my parents were home so I had to get her out but I still wanted to get with her. After driving around I had to idea to stop in a church parking. I think I got to second base with her, but still it was in a freaking church

I also have smoked weed in a church parking lot
 
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