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Coombz - that is a situation that runs in our family. 3 boys. All nice guys but also with warped senses of humor and a bit of bad boy machismo. I remember my dad talking to a younger brother once when he was 17.
He said - "Look, instead of saying 'Hello my name is Eric - I love you' how about trying 'Hello my name is Eric. Would you like to ****?'"
He was not seriously saying to do that literally but he was pointing out that there is a middle ground between being friends, having sex, flirting and serious commitment.
I have a personal quirk +age and experience - that has made me steer away from easy, quick shallow flings. I am only really attracted - wholly attracted - to women who fit a certain criteria. I have come to accept it. My deepest relationships have come from being with women who are in need - deep emotional need. Ones who have convinced themselves that life is fine but on the inside - they know it **** and the thing that is miss is a man. Not just a stupid dude who doesn't care about them, shows no interest other than the diminishing frequqncy and quality of their sex life. Not a guy who is just interested in "dude stuff" but they have been in an vaccum of passion for long enough to develop a serious thirst for love. These are the women that float my boat. I can spot them a mile away. These are not women who are cheaters. They are almost always in a relationship of some sort.
This is the quirk in my character. I know I see it as a challenge. A puzzle. I also truly want them to be happy. At the same time, I like to figure out ways we can be together.
It's really the perfect time for this and I have chosen this route. I have a 16 year old. I had one "live together" monogaous/serious relatiionship that turned lame after a couple years and I promised myself (and him) that we weren't goiing to do that again. I vowed to myself NOT to get in a serious relationship again until he has flown the coop. So - I have been setting the stage for who (if any of them) I want to be with afterwards.
It has been an interesting few years for sure. In some ways, the relationships are deeper than others I have had that included officially "being together".
We are a complicated bunch whern it comes to happiness for sure.
One of the things I have noticed with most of the women I hang out with - their partner would most likely describe them as sexually boring. Oh man. That is so wrong.
Here is a tidbit of a conversation that is a great example:
"Yeah - he keeps trying to get me to do anal. No way I am going to do that with him. I would love to explore that but there is no way I am going to let him do that. That would be like letting him 'win'.
So much of that type of **** and it makes nop sense why people stay together through all that. I understand when there are kids involved but even then - how silly.
Here is another "It would make our marriage so much easier if we could see other people". That's a good one.
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