Part IV
At UVALAN3, Gon was minding his own business in the LAN room, playing in a public Tribes server, when the other players decided to vote him as the administrator of the server. In his first act as admin, Gon decided to ban some fucking idiot named 12uff 12yda .e2. who had some retarded script that would voice spam whenever he grabbed or capped the flag. 12uff 12yda did not take well to being banned. In a bout of rage, 12uff 12yda scoured the LAN room yelling "WHERES GON!" "WHO THE FUCK IS GON!" at the top of his lungs. Young Gon sat still, and continued playing.
Eventually, 12uff 12yda approached Gon, and said to him "Are you fucking GON?" Gon continued playing his game. 12uff 12yda, even more annoyed at being ignored, removed Gon's headphones and said "WHATS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM DUDE?" Gon glanced at 12uff 12yda, then continued playing his game. 12uff 12yda found this response unacceptable. 12uff 12yda turned off Gon's monitor, and said "SAY SOMETHING ASSHOLE." Gon, as calm as a full moon on a warm summer's night, stared right up at 12uff 12yda and said "eat shit." 12uff 12yda, exasperated and in shock, yelled "WHAT DID YOU SAY????" Gon, without missing a beat, said "eat shit eat shit eat shit eat shit eat shit eat shit" and continued to repeat "eat shit" in his monotone robotic voice for approximately 2 minutes. fraggle approached 12uff 12yda and asked him if there was a problem, and 12uff 12yda finally gave up and ran off in a fit of rage. The LAN continued.
On the 2nd day of the LAN, Gon was hungry. Gon didn't have a car or a driver's license, so he decided to tag along with [KoV]Apothem, who was headed over to the local Wendy's franchise. This was not one of Gon's better ideas. Apothem, a known tweaker and pedophile, is not the best of drivers, and on unfamiliar roads, bad drivers become exponentially worse. On the way to Wendy's, Apothem jumped a curb into oncoming traffic and crushed a tire. Luckily, Gon survived this accident unscathed, and eventually managed to eat a Junior Bacon Cheeseburger. The LAN continued.
On the 3rd day of the LAN, Gon was returning to the LAN room from his Hotel room when fate intervened. An angry 12uff 12yda, simmering from his tournament team's earlier loss, caught Gon in the hotel lobby and pushed him into the phone booth area. Gon, calm and patient as always, just sort of stared at 12uff 12yda, waiting to see what he had in store for him. 12uff 12yda began yelling at Gon and threatening him, asking Gon if he felt so tough without his friends there to protect him, asking Gon why he wasn't so "chatty" in a 1 on 1 situation. As things were about to escalate, z2.bacardi, returning to the LAN room from his daily masturbatory session in the hotel room, discovered Gon being harassed by 12uff 12yda, and decided to get involved. Once again, 12uff 12yda ran off like a child, pointing his finger at Gon and saying something to the effect of "I'll get you yet, my pretty!!!" The LAN continued.
On the last day of the LAN, Caitlyn approached Gon in the hotel lobby, in clear view of Gon's new internet friends. Gon, enraged, told Caitlyn to go away and leave him alone! And she did. The LAN ended, and the 2000 km trek back to Sarnia, Ontario was largely uneventful.
(to be continued...)