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Brasstax
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1 - 05-23-2018, 20:53
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The Iblewabowl Trail Sled Dog Race is an annual long-distance sled dog race run in early March from Portland to Seattle. Tokers and a team of 16 drug dogs, of which at least 5 must be on the towline at the finish line, cover the distance in 8***8211;15 days or more. The Iblewabowl began in 2016 as an event to test the best weed and toker teams and has evolved into today's highly competitive race. Although blowing smoke into the dog noses is illegal, toker teams and their canines regularly consume brownies called "Scooby Snacks".

The brutal Iblewabowl trail makes it's way from southern Oregon in the rich illegal grow territory through the countryside that is fraught with danger. Many tokers are lost to MS13 gunfire or just disappear in the jungle of tarps. The trail continues through Eugene, Portland, Mt Hood and other diverse areas. The lack of snow in most of these areas is tough on the tokers, their dogs and the sleds but a steady intake of cannabis helps take the edge off the journey.

The rules of the race require sledders to stop at each and every pot shop along the route and try 5g samples of every strain available. "Are we in a movie?" is the battle cry of the high flying sledders. City folk meet the racers along the route and are encouraged to freak the racers out by offering them real jobs and asking tough questions such as "what are you doing with your life?". Many teams just end up on the streets of Portland looking confused and slightly angry.

Once the race enters Washington, it becomes lame. The soggy, depressed environment offers little in the way of positivity. The pervasive state of resting ***** face adds to the downer and many tokers just start doing heroin and die off once they cross into Washingon State.

No one has every finished the Iblewabowl although Teddy Striker from Jew Jersey managed to make it to Chehalis with six dogs where he was captured by local Indians.

Yes, this race is a classic and will certainly gain in popularity as new sponsorship emerges and people flee traditional sports like the NFL for more patriotic activities like smoking.
 
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Last edited by Brasstax; 05-24-2018 at 00:05..
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epidemic
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2 - 05-23-2018, 22:30
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cael
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3 - 05-23-2018, 22:45
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yep im gay now
 
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Elvis Hitler
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4 - 05-23-2018, 23:23
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This thread sucks
 
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Edofnor
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5 - 05-24-2018, 00:23
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it's funny b/c the hardest toker out of oregon would get smoked 2 death by the biggest 18-year-old carpetbagger poser from fort lewis college (colorado)

look in ur soul, u kno it 2b true

PNW is inhabited ENTIRELY -- AS IN WITHOUT A SINGLE EXCEPTION -- by ****lord poser ******s who were driven out of california b/c they were too cali-douchey for the cali fags to tolerate


~PROVE ME WRONG WITH PEER REVIEWED ACADEMIC MATERIAL I KNO U CAN'T AND I BET U ALSO CAN'T DO MY CALC HOMEWORK U ****ING DICKS OMG OMG OMGOMG~
 
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Edofnor
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6 - 05-24-2018, 00:27
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btw i also want 2 point out that these ppl only "try" the 5g samples, they do not "consume" or "complete" the samples

BIGLY NITTY GRITTY DETAILS
 
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Plasmatic
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7 - 05-24-2018, 00:30
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dog **** taco
 
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Brasstax
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8 - 05-24-2018, 00:30
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There is still an honor system. Talk has been towards introducing anti non-doping rules and tests. It would ruin the race imo
 
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Hologram
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9 - 05-24-2018, 05:48
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this thread
 
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