Why not pay the homeless to serve as benches? Sure, the domicile challenged may obtain the desired benefits from much needed rest while earning a fare living wage and providing a valuable service to the community. No special training is needed. Simply get down on all fours and offer your sweaty and inviting back to the tax paying public. This would certainly present a welcome relief to any exhausted pedestrian passerby. Low sitting chaise models with armrests will also be available since statistically many prefer to sleep face up and there’s no reason to believe that the sleeping habits of the homeless are any different than anyone else’s.
This isn’t merely resolving two problems by applying one to the other, this is ground-shaking social revolution. This is the creation of a new professional class. This fledgling guild, this nouveau order, this latest respected skill situated at the dawn of it’s dynastic lineage will forever honor this city as the birthplace of a lofty endeavor that has changed lives and society and conceived countless generations of elite and proud professionals along the lines of the Longshoreman or the Teamsters. Naturally a new bloated bureaucracy can be created to administer, take credit for and somehow profit from these good works. It can staffed entirely with friends and relatives of our beloved mayor or at least the ones that aren’t in jail. We can call it the, “San Francisco Department of Sedentaria”.