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Reload this Page Zoph eats at ****ty places so you don't have to
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Dr Dance
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Old
61 - 09-25-2020, 07:28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mitchdubai View Post
At least the stock photos give you some idea? Huh? It's Hooters FFS. If you've been in a coma for 40 years maybe helpful.
No kidding.
 
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62 - 09-25-2020, 15:47
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Originally Posted by Plasmatic View Post
Now try some food from Caton Carryout. Not too much further.
Yeah, I will take requests within reason.

But I just googled this neighborhood.

Extreme left socialist ghetto. Even I'm a scared to go near there. I'm sure that the food is fine. But damn. Maybe I should just go to Venezuela instead.
 
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63 - 09-26-2020, 12:09
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10. I HOP College Park, Md.

Fare: It's not just for breakfast anymore.



The first thing one must ask is, "Why? Why subject myself to this? Aren't there better places to eat breakfast than this? Why HERE?"

To make a short story long, my pest control company was doing a routine follow up for my residence. I had to vacate for 3 hours while it was being treated. My scheduled time was between 8-10am Saturday morning. No calls. No notice. The guy "shows up" right at 8am just after I awakened from my beauty rest. He gave me 5 minutes to scramble around to grab what I needed and leave.

Now what? Oh ****. I hadn't taken my morning **** yet. This could get ugly. So I drove to the nearest restaurant that was all of seven minutes away. I managed to hold it until then.

8:15am. The damned lobby was FILLED with immigrants. wtf? I'm here to get pancakes, not get a green card. What, isn't the DMV up the street open yet? Couples. Whole families. Mexicans. Pakistanicans. I was ready to fail this place right then and there. Everyone stared at me like I was from ICE.

But by then, my oven was rumbling fiercely. I desperately needed to drop the kids off at the pool. So I made my way to the men's room. A young woman was cleaning in there. She was foreign, of course. At 8:15am. When the place was at its busiest. Made sense. I ignored her and entered the handicapped stall which was not yet occupied. As I began, she left briefly. But then she came back after a few minutes. She kept cleaning as noisily and obnoxiously as possible. I fanned some fumes her way under the side partition. I didn't bother to flush my partial load. When I was FINALLY done after a good fifteen minutes, I washed my hands and left at a VERY leisurely pace. And yeah, I flushed when I finished. I'm no savage for God's sakes. She ignored me the whole time. Hey Senorita, wouldn't it have been better to clean the men's room before the place opened? Or AT LEAST do your duty at a time that is less busy.

The lobby was even MORE crowded when I returned if such a thing was even possible. I muscled my way to the hostess table to give her my name. I asked about the wait time considering that the entire nation of Uganda was waiting to be seated. But she unexpectedly replied that my wait would be very short. Apparently ALL of the refugees were waiting for carry out. This was of course unclear to me since there were no designated areas to wait.

It's difficult to **** up a breakfast order even if you tried. They only had five (5... count em... FIVE) ****ing choices for breakfast. I thought that this was I HOP!!! What? No separate breakfast menu? Maybe they do their meals differently in Uganda. But in College Park, we do BREAKFAST before 9am, *****es.

I chose a #2 (no pun intended), a 2 x 2 x 2. Two each of pancakes, eggs (over hard), and sausage links. (You could choose bacon instead of sausage.)

My waitress was an over weight, younger black woman. To her credit, she was pleasant, if a bit distracted.

The waits for service, food, and getting my check processed were all very average, not too long; but, certainly not quick. When my plate of food finally arrived, she dropped it and ran. Too late did I realize that I was missing my imitation maple syrup. There was no sign of any of the canisters of fruit syrups (strawberry, blueberry, chocolate, etc...) that I remembered from a previous visit last year. I finally managed to flag one of the employees down do get me a plastic pouch of imitation maple syrup. I made do.

There is always one screaming kid at these places. Never fails.

My #2 with a regular sized glass of orange juice set me back $10. I left a $2 tip.

My grade: D.
 
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Last edited by Dr Dance; 09-26-2020 at 12:21..
Edofnor
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64 - 09-26-2020, 14:09
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v surprising 2 hear there was an international crowd @ the international house of pancakes
 
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NoGodForMe
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Old
65 - 09-27-2020, 07:45
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Went to the GatorNationals in Gainesville FL with 3 other people.
Gumpy's Pizza Yelp Cool joint with TVs and a bar.

Garden Pizza

Galore Pizza
 
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Last edited by NoGodForMe; 09-27-2020 at 17:59..
Edofnor
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66 - 09-27-2020, 10:59
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wtf why do u only go to pizza joints that suffer from center load?

did every 1 of these tards learn 2 make pizza by watching emeril dump everything in a pile on the center (WRONG -- go spiral from edge in, u noob) and do a half-assed effort at spreading it around?

jfc i would hate if my local joints were all run by ppl who flunked out of pizza hut academy
 
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NoGodForMe
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67 - 09-27-2020, 18:02
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We did get a free pizza out of it. They made an extra one by mistake and didn't charge us for it. The bar had reasonable beer prices at $4.50 for a draft. So it worked out.
 
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Dr Dance
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68 - 09-30-2020, 22:18
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Originally Posted by Dr Dance View Post
2. Bertucci's (Columbia, Md.) Italian fare.



Decor: Looks like any generic sports bar restaurant set up. Nothing special to see here.

When I arrived around 2pm yesterday, business was light. There was one elderly couple who were sitting in a booth. They hadn't gotten their food yet.

Strike one: I stood in the ****ing lobby for five minutes until some diminutive Spanish chick hobbled out of the back in slow motion.

She asked me if I wanted to see a menu or if I already had one via the Bertucci's mobile app. After I chose to see a menu, she then apologized for not having any; but, I was welcome to choose from the mobile app.

Strike two: No printed menus were available for guests.

I then told her that I knew what I wanted and could I please just have a seat. (I had eaten here before.) She then escorted me to a booth to sit. She then asked me if I wanted a glass of water.

After I sat, she brought a glass of water with a lemon garnish in about five more minutes. I started to place my order. She again apologized; but, she informed me that the man who would take my order would be right out.

Twenty minutes later, there was no sign of a waiter. During that time, a young man brought the elderly couple their food. Looked good. A personal sized pizza and some sort of pasta platter. I glared at him. The waiter didn't even acknowledge me. After serving the couple, he merely retreated to whatever back room passed for where in house employees could loaf.

Strike three: No waiter service.

As I got up and left after drinking about three sips of my lemon water, I overheard the young man arguing furiously in the back room. Something about how he was "supposed to be off now."

I walked away and never looked back.

My grade: Incomplete.

Bertucci's is NOT recommended.
Update: Today, I gave it a second chance only because I HAVE had good meals there before. Can you imagine if that was someone's initial visit?

Soup and sandwich combo: Chicken parm sandwich. Italian sausage soup... Spicy and cheesy, and a glass of water. $10.

Not sure why this combo was served with freshly baked rolls (with olive oyl) because there was enough bread on the sandwich. But since the rolls were so tasty, I didn't think having additional rolls with a sandwich was a big thing.

Service and food were good. But I have to combine this updated result with the partial first visit to get a complete review.

My grade: C-/D+

You are taking your chances there.
 
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Last edited by Dr Dance; 09-30-2020 at 22:21..
lemontw
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69 - 09-30-2020, 22:26
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before or after jerry parris dance weekend
 
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Dr Dance
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70 - 10-01-2020, 09:39
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lemontw View Post
before or after jerry parris dance weekend
I didn't think that he was doing these any more. Oh pls update us!
 
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Dr Dance
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71 - 10-04-2020, 10:17
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Chick Fil a, White Oak, Maryland.



The civil war may be spreading to even THIS nice neighborhood. Three coons were chimping out because three muslims were trolling them outside the restaurant. The scene cleared when they dispersed however. No cops were called. Nobody was shot that day.

Their food is just okay despite having a wonderful original chicken sandwich. But the big attraction here was the superior service. Get in. Get fed. Get gone. Service that put other fast food emporiums to shame. This was the way it used to be.

Nowadays with the latest covid restrictions, chinks have been appearing in Chick's impressive service armor. Wait times have increased. The mediocre food quality is even more mediocre. The restaurants are crowded despite company efforts to be covid safe. This restaurant has often not dealt with the covid hand especially well.

Employees are still putting up a brave face for the most part. But the romance of great service has passed. The bloom is off the rose. The fallen service quality has deposited Chick fil A into the thick of fast food doldrums rather than standing out any more.

A chick fil a deluxe, large fruit cup, cookie, and soft drink ran me $13.

My grade: C. Chick fil a is umm... yeah.
 
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NoGodForMe
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Old
72 - 10-05-2020, 04:48
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At most Chick Fil A the drive through line goes out to the street. They're doing something right because the fad is still going.
 
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Dr Dance
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Old
73 - 10-05-2020, 10:24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NoGodForMe View Post
At most Chick Fil A the drive through line goes out to the street. They're doing something right because the fad is still going.
Drive thrus at least avoid the tedium of waiting around inside for your food with covid-19 patients.
 
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Dr Dance
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74 - 10-05-2020, 10:27
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Originally Posted by Edofnor View Post
wtf why do u only go to pizza joints that suffer from center load?

did every 1 of these tards learn 2 make pizza by watching emeril dump everything in a pile on the center (WRONG -- go spiral from edge in, u noob) and do a half-assed effort at spreading it around?

jfc i would hate if my local joints were all run by ppl who flunked out of pizza hut academy
Dominoes is notorious for center load.

Here's a PRO TIP for dealing with it:

Take a half bite from the center along with a half bite from the crust.
 
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Dr Dance
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75 - 10-10-2020, 14:14
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Seminary Beer, Wine, and Deli, Montgomery Hills, Maryland.



Fare: Jewish Deli Food.

Well, GOOD ****ING LUCK finding this hole in the wall deli on Georgia Avenue just south of the Beltway. The Jews really squirreled this one back deep in a difficult to access parking lot between a CVS and an Aldis, an eyesore of a grocery store that sells what they want, not what you want.

But as far as the deli itself, these Jews know what the **** they're doing. Everything hot is microwaved. It's not fresh. But it's still tasty. The cold sandwiches are deli fresh. And on a good day, you can taste the difference. But on a bad day... well, it's not out of date until green things are growing on it.

They have a couple of small tables in the back behind very narrow aisles for eating in. But those are not available now because Montgomery County is still so ****ing anal about the covid. You'd better plan on food to go.



The service is eccentric. They always ask for my I.D. whenever I buy wine coolers. Hey Rabbi, I'm 67 ****ing years old. Look OVER your ****ing big nose for one second to ascertain that I'm NOT a goddamned teenager! (But it's actually not their fault that they're so anal about age checks. They DID get busted for this once that resulted in a hefty fine.)

I got ****ing busted for practicing my ballroom dance moves while waiting for my steak n cheese sub.

"Hey, no dancing in here!"

Damn! Like I was going to strip naked or something. Hey kikey, this is a cross chasse, not a pole dance! What, your Jewish bimbos back there getting all hot and bothered by this? Yeah, ok. Wouldn't want to tempt the priestesses who dip my potato salad.

Oh, and they sell alcohol too. Rows and rows of alcohol. If it makes you drunk, they got it! Beer and wine, oh so fine! But if you want the hard stuff, you'll have to look elsewhere, perhaps at Tick Tock Liquors in Hyattsville.

The subs are typically better than okay, but not great. This is one of those, "Let's get food because we're trapped in this godforsaken hell of a shopping center and it's too much effort to drive to someplace good."

But I enjoy the place because I have a masochistic streak sometimes.

AND they sell Joe iced Tea. Damn that stuff is good!



A lemon chicken sub LTMO with swiss cheese, a single serve potato salad, and a Joe Peach Iced Tea set me back $15.

My grade: B-. Lots of bad. Lots of good. But the good outweighs the bad.
 
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Last edited by Dr Dance; 10-10-2020 at 14:34..
NoGodForMe
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76 - 10-11-2020, 06:27
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Awesome. That place actually has good reviews on Yelp.
https://www.yelp.com/biz/seminary-be...-silver-spring
 
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Dr Dance
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77 - 10-24-2020, 15:55
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Subway, Windsor Mills, Md.

Fare: Subs and wraps



My one outstanding question about Subway is: Why do they still suck when they try so hard not to suck? They'll make your subs to order with as many different toppings as you want within reason. They have most of the deli subs that delis do plus many fixins' that delis do not including sliced cucumbers, raw spinach, and sliced avocado. They have catchy ads that emphasize healthier eating. But they also sell double meat portions for those who crave the meats! Seems like a decent formula for success. But no, Subway shoots themselves in the foot one too many times.

1. Their service SUCKS! They have bottom tier employees with a short shelf life. Most or all are gone within a matter of months or even weeks. This leaves the store owners high and dry more often than not. The people working there are hastily trained and are ill prepared to deal with a fickle public. As an example: They don't even allow customers to use the bathroom. They claim that it's "out of odor." I might accept that excuse once. But not multiple times.

2. The food is too overpriced. Remember $5 footlongs? Gone the way of the dinosaur. Good luck trying to buy a 6" sub, bag of chips, and fountain drink now for less than $10. But across the street at Buon Journo, you can get exactly the same thing for $2 less with an OVERSTUFFED steak and cheese, not a hastily semi filled atrocity. To get enough protein, you have to order extra meat to get enough, the hallmark of insufficient food preparation.

3. The food quality SUCKS! That chicken has all of the goodness literally boiled out of it. The sliced turkey is nothing but bottom feeder grade compared to what you would receive at a deli or a better restaurant. The sliced ham is nothing but salt and pig's dicks. At least the steak slices are passable. But for ten ****ing bucks, I want better than passable. And the sliced imitation cheese: Two flimsy slices for a six inch sub (which is now 5" after the quiet downsizing). Wtf? At least make the slices thicker or add more slices, say 4 would be reasonable. And don't get me started about the fake seafood salad. Just don't. This has been a one way ticket to diarrhea central more often for me than not.

My grade: F. Not recommended.

Bonus trivia question (I forgot the answer): Who was the twer who used to work as a food server for Subway?
 
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Last edited by Dr Dance; 10-24-2020 at 15:57..
Plasmatic
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78 - 10-24-2020, 17:34
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think hes in jail for kid diddling
 
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Data
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79 - 10-24-2020, 17:59
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Anyone here could have just told you Subway sucks and saved you the trouble.
 
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havax
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80 - 10-24-2020, 18:21
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Originally Posted by Data View Post
Anyone here could have just told you Subway sucks and saved you the trouble.
right? like that location is going to be any different. they all suck, duh, but it's calories in a pinch
 
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