Confessions.

Sift said:
I used to piss outside when I had a fenced backyard because I really enjoyed being able to smoke and piss at the same time
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Shouldn't you be talking about how you want to dress like a girl and take it up the ass?
 
From when I was a kid:

An old friend and I used to light smoke bombs on fire and then hit them into neighbors yards with a racquetball racket. It's surprising how far those little bastards can go. We're lucky we never set anything on fire doing that.

Same guy and I fired a bottle rocket at this neighborhood girl who was going down a really steep hill on her bike. We timed it almost perfectly, as it blew up right beside her. She freaked out and lost control of the bike and then let go of the handle bars. The bike then started to swerve uncontrollably and finally ended when her and the bike wiped out big time. Afterwards we felt horrible because she had some pretty bad road rash.

From when I was a grown up kid:

I was absolutely shit-house drunk one night and walking home. I had eaten some bad bar food earlier and it was not sitting well. About half way home I was really starting to feel it, and figured that I better start running home otherwise I was going to shit myself. Since I was absolutely wasted, I wasn't really thinking clearly, and running wasn't the brightest idea as it actually accelerated the process. Eventually I felt my ass explode from the nasty bar-nachos and hot-dogs I had earlier. I might have been food poisoning, or it just might have been how drunk I was, but either way my lower half was covered in drippy shit. I was wearing some loose fitting shorts, so it had completely run down my legs and into my shoes at that point. I finished my shit soaked journey home and stripped down to my boxers in the front yard. I hosed myself off best I could in the freezing weather. I then dumped my shorts, boxers and shoes in the garbage and went inside with a shirt tied around my waist to take a shower. I was mainly thankful that my roommates weren't up and that I didn't have to explain myself.

I go commando on occasion.
 
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-In like 5th grade my best friend lived next door. His house was on the corner and had an embankment of dirt on the street side with a few plants (it was prime biking location to build up speed). Anyways, we always took our bikes down this little hill, but pretty soon we started noticing bike tracks on his hill that weren't ours. Assholes. So we took a couple thin pieces of wood and hammered nails through them and buried them quite perfectly on the hill (think punji sticks). A couple days later we went to examine our handiwork. The nailed boards were gone, but there was a track leading up to them, a bunch of messed up dirt, and some smashed plants below where our culprits probably ate shit straight into the bushes.

-The same friend and I used to hide from our parents. One time we hid in some cabinets from our parents for so long that they almost called the police. He kept saying he had to go to the bathroom, but I wouldn't let him leave. I found out later from my parents (after being given a stern talking to) that he had crapped his pants :rofl:
 
SuperMegaCheese said:
i shit my pants once.. when i was way too old to shit my pants

i stole a wicked hockey card from one of my friends that was my favourite - and i still have it

i used to cry when i slept over at my friends houses.. and walk home in the middle of the night
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:lol:
 
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Drunk, an attempt at anal sex, cocunut TINGLER tanning lotion... you do the math.

I've also fucked in a church parking lot a few times.
 
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so i tried to hook up with this other girl when i had a girlfriend. she rejected me and i stopped talking to her. and 2 weeks later i felt guilty and stopped talking to my girlfriend too. without telling her why.
 
Tribalbob said:
so i tried to hook up with this other girl when i had a girlfriend. she rejected me and i stopped talking to her. and 2 weeks later i felt guilty and stopped talking to my girlfriend too. without telling her why.
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lmao pussy
 
just a couple years back, my gf gave me a handjob in the backseat of the car while my parents were driving. she cleaned up using her mouth. ahh, yes. that was a beautiful night.

I also have to confess that when I sold weed to friends, I didn't do it honestly. I would constantly tax some of their stash. Not to mention that one time I actually sold a rolled "joint" full of weeds. I guess that friend was really just that stupid that he never knew the difference. He jsut said "man, this is some good stuff!"

I'll try and think of more later.
 
Joft said:
When I was in first grade, me and this friend I had were working together on a picture during a break. We decided for some reason to draw this big picture of a guy getting shot at, stabbed, burned, bombed, etc. It was funny because we tried to think of what race this "enemy" of our's would be, and I specifically remember going through a list of countries I knew of and deciding that they simply couldn't be enemies. I also knew it couldn't be a black person because I knew black people from church. So, we decided this guy would be oriental, and drew him with slanted eyes. I had just drawn, like, tanks shooting at him and stuff. But my friend decided to draw a stick of dynamite in his crotch and cleverly add a stream of piss originating in that general area too.

The break ended; I hid the drawing in my backpack. Later that night my parents called me into the kitchen and asked me to explain something, they then held up the drawing and I saw that my backpack was on the floor by one of their chairs. I was slightly ashamed, but mostly angry that my parents would go through my backpack without me knowing it. I also hurriedly explained that the dynamite part was drawn by my friend.

This isn't much of a confession, but I thought it interesting. Because, at the age of 6, I had some impression that if we were going to draw a picture of a guy we were gonna kill, he couldn't be German or Russian or something like that because we already had wars with them, and he couldn't be African because that was racist; so, he had to be asian.
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stfu, azns are the master race bitch
 
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