Once flipp and I were drinking in mexico. Lost his passport in a bar while 'visiting' a 'rescued' orangutan from Indonesia. Sorry no pics... nightmares made me burn them...
anyway
I'm wondering how we're going to cross back to the states without a big hassle,,,
but flipp is like "AAAADDDDDVVVEEENNNNTTTUU URRRRRRRRREEEE" and goes running off toward the border with me hot on his ass heels and me asking what about the car? His, he doesn't care.
We get down to the playas of Tijuana by the bull fighting ring, and next thing I know he's running past guards at the door screaming SAVETHEBULL, grabs the matador's sword, skewers him lifting the skinny guy up as he jumps on the back of the bull and goes riding out the same way he came in with me on the bull's tail hooves and about 50 mad hombres chasing us down the road.
I see flipp is heading to the beach and north toward the border where there's (in this section) a nice tall fence. I'm wondering how we're going to get over this fence that also extends a good 100 ft into the ocean.
I'm almost out of breath running as fast as I can. flipp slows the bull down just enough to grab me by his leg and throw me over the rearend of the bull...
then flipp rolls under the damn bull, somehow holding on and right before that fence, squeezes that bull's gonads so hard he goes running insane, sees the fence at the last moment and jumps...
I think that bull mighta made it over if it wasn't for razor wire at the top. Smashed his head into it and the fence sending me (barely holding onto the tail at this point) over the fence to the American sand on the other side. I landed hard, but laughing my ass off thinking flipp had made it too, but damn, no, he'd gotten caught up in the razor wire and landed back in Mexico, the bull bellowing so loud from the top of the fence I think it was the loudest thing in TJ,,, and that's saying a lot.
I saw him ripping the wire off his torn clothes/flesh as the hombres enojado rushing toward him. One of the men ran at him with a machete, but flipp grabbed it, sliced the guys head off, and in the same swing cut enough wire from his body to run down toward the water. He was quite the sight, wire dragging from his legs and arms, blood flowing/flying everywhere. I'm running along the other side of the fence following him watching this all amazed he's still alive with the 9 inch razor gash I saw on his leg.
He jumps in the water and starts to swim to get around the fence. He had a crown of razor wire around his head with blood dripping down and it gives me a feeling of peace as he reminds me of pictures of Jesus I've seen.
So he's swimming as best he can and almost around the fence and I'm swimming out to help him. That's when I see the huge fin of a great white racing toward him easily following the blood. I tell flipp he's a goner and ask him in typical TW style if I can have his ****.
Flipp laughs and at the last moment dives down below the shark, and using the razor wire still stuck around his sides, straps himself to the beast. I see him pull it up to the surface and he's holding onto the pectorals. I think he's going to be able to steer the thing for a moment, but then it dives...
I treaded water for 60 minutes (well maybe just 6, but it felt like 60 thinking about the sharks), until I finally swam ashore, giving up on flipp.
I lay there breathing, hiding in the sandy dunes from la migra, when I hear yippykayay muthr fookurs! and here flipp comes riding that shark right up onto the sand as if that's exactly what the shark wanted to do.
I help him untangle from the shark and push the thing back into the water... flipp likes animals and still gives a toast to the remembrance of the bull on the fence... carcass is still there if you want to see it. He packs his cuts with mud and marsh weeds and carries me (hey, I'm tired, I treaded water for what felt like 60 minutes) up toward imperial beach for a drink
true story
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