I caught my ex's new boyfriend sucking his own dick.

we've all seen the video, well maybe except for dooster, so don't kid yourself 4niktor.

ps.s - if i could suck my own cock, i sure as hell wouldn't be on this forum right now.
 
Follow up

I just talked to Megan. Sorry, but no mp3 of the call. I can't imagine this going away anytime soon though so there is still a chance I can get one.

Just as I thought, Seth got through to her first. As various posters have pointed out, she had a hard time believing what I had to tell her. I'll try to be as accurate as I can with the transcript of what was said. The actual exchange might be a little off, but the gist of what was said is here. Megan won't be back home until this weekend, so I don't know what else might happen with her between now and then.

Megan: I just got a call from Seth saying you were harassing him and threatened to kick his ass.
Me: Yes. Did you not get my message? I told you I had something serious to tell you about him.
Megan: Well whatever it is I don't like the fact that my ex-boyfriend is threatening the guy I'm currently seeing.
Me: Megan... I caught the guy IN YOUR BEDROOM sucking HIS OWN DICK with YOUR vibrator in his ass, with YOUR panties on the floor next to him!
<Total Silence for about 20 seconds>
Megan: What?
Me: I'm serious.
Megan: That isn't funny at all, Scott. What did you do to him? Quit fucking around.
Me: Megan I'm serious. I went to your place to get my DVDs and I walked in on him in your bedroom. He was upside down sucking his own dick, and had your vibrator in his ass. I'm not kidding.
Megan: WHAT?! How the hell did he get inside? He doesn't have a key!
Me: I guess he knew about the one you hide under that rock next to the porch.
Megan: Yeah I guess he might have seen me use it before... but I still don't believe this. Why are you making this up?
Me: I'm not lying. Believe me... the last thing in the world I wanted to see was that dipstick sucking his own dick. I feel like I need to gouge out my eyes and wash my brain with clorox. Why on earth would I make this up?
<She said a couple a things I can't exactly remember>
Megan: I just can't believe anyone would do something like that.
Me: Well, it happened. You're missing one important thing about this, Megan.... Julie <her sister> was due home any minute.
Megan <voice starting to shake>: Are you kidding me? ARE YOU SERIOUS? WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?! JULIE WAS THERE?
Me: No no no... Julie WASN'T there, but it was almost time for her to come over.
Megan: You better not be lying to me, Scott.
Me: I'm not. I wish it was all a joke. What exactly did Seth tell you?
Megan: He said you waited for him after work last night and threatened him with a machete. He said you told him to stay away from me or you would hurt him.
Me: Well, the machete part is true, as is the threat. But that was ONLY after I found him at your place and after he threw a brick at me. You know me better than that. You know I wouldn't just go off and threaten someone. You know I'd have to be in a position where a physical confrontation would be the only option before I'd hurt anyone.
Megan <crying>: I can't believe he'd do something like that.
Me: But you can believe I'D threaten him for no reason?! I'm not the jealous type, you know this.
Megan: I'm going to call Seth.
Me: Well, whatever he tells you is probably a lie. Ask your friends whom they would believe.
Megan: I need to go.
Me: Call me later when you want to talk some more.

To clear up a few things:

I don't give a shit if he sucks his own dick or not. I'm not a homophobe (as someone mentioned) and I don't really care what a person does in their own home. However... this was not his home and he had no business being there. Megan is NOT the type of girl that would get off on something like that, either. She didn't give him a key, so he had to have gotten in without her permission. clearly he was not supposed to be there. Remember that he used HER vibrator in HIS ass... there's no telling what kind of danger that is to Megan. I threw the vibrator away instead of cleaning it, as I doubt Megan would want to use it anymore. On top of everything else, HER 12 YEAR OLD SISTER could have walked in to see the asshole doing this shit.

As for the machete... like I said before I teach and study a couple of martial arts (serak, kali) that focus on bladed weapons. I always carry a couple of knives with me, and as I mentioned my instructor and I train with machetes. We don't go full speed or anything, but training with a live blade gives you a healthy respect for one. I can see how some people might be put off by such an idea as having a machete on hand, but with me it is a normal thing. I don't go around brandishing them at random people; recall that this jackass had already thrown a brick at me and had picked up another one and started to move toward me. The sheer ludicrous nature of the whole exchange was enough to make me decide it might escalate into something serious.

I thought about calling the cops, but decided against it for a few reasons. Firstly, I would probably have to explain the whole machete situation to them. Secondly, without Megan present to testify as to who had a key/who was given permission to be there, it would be my word against his. Lastly, I wanted to make sure that the fool was not there when Megan's little sister arrived. She doesn't need to be involved in any of this shit.
 
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