OT: Very Sick Jokes(WARNING)

Q. What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A. Lickalottapus.

Ok this next one is **RACIST** and pretty bad so don't get offended :)

Q. How many Jews can you fit in a Cadillac?
A. 2 in the front 3 in the back and 6 million in the ash tray.


I have another one but i think some ppl may get pissed off.
 
:lol:
Teuton said:
I have another one but i think some ppl may get pissed off.
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Hey, don't sweate it. Anyone going berzerk over the theme of these jokes gets flamed immediately and then directed to the disclaimer in the header...
 
Originally snipped & ripped from:The Hun's Yellow Pages

Little Johnny is sitting in a biology class,and the teacher says that an interesting phenomenon of nature is that only humans stutter, no other animal in the world does this. Johnny's hand shoots up. "Not correct, Miss!" he says.
"Please explain, Johnny," replies the teacher.
"Well, Miss, the other day I was playing with my cat on the verandah.The neighbors' Great Dane came around the corner, and my cat went "ffffffffff! ffffffffffff! ffffffffff!", and before he could say "FUCK OFF!", the dog ate him!"
 
I skipped a couple pages, don't think anyones said this-

What does Pontiac stand for?

Poor Old Nigger Thinks It's A Cadillac
 
Originally snipped & ripped from:The Hun's Yellow Pages

One day a boy asks his dad, "What's the difference between a pussy and a cunt?"
Dad thought for a minute and said, "Come with me."
He took his son to his mother's bedroom, where she was sleeping nude. "Son," he whispered, "see that brown soft furry patch? That is a pussy."
The boy asked, "May I touch it to see how soft and furry it is?"
"No!" replied his father. "That might wake the cunt up."
 
WARNING:RACIST

There was this man that used to drive down the street and hit black people. One day he was giving his preacher a ride to church and there was a black man standing right in the middle of the road. the man wanted to hit the black man but the preacher was in the car. he couldn't decide what to do. at the last second the man swerves to miss the black man but hears a loud bang. thinking he hit the guy he looks over at the preacher to see the look on his face. the preacher is laughing and yells out, got that n*gger with the door.
 
this one's ok.....

There's a younger brother of 8 in the house, older brother of 18 and his girlfriend. The parents go out while the girlfriend and boyfriend take care of the brother. At night time they sleep in a bunkbed, younger brother in bottom bunk, older brother and girlfriend in the top bunk. The older brother and girlfriend want to have sex but they dont' want to let the boy know, so they use codenames. Cheese for softer Salami for harder. In the middle of the night the younger brother calls up:

Will you guys stop making sandwiches up there? You're spilling mayonaise all over me.
 
I've told this one before.

Worlds shortest joke:

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.


I never said it was funny.
 
This one's dumb and better out loud, but...

What does a fish say when it runs into a wall?

DAMN!

What does a fish say when the water is moving to fast?

DAMNIT!
 
Kaertes said:
A retarded man was waiting at a bus station, the bus finally arives, the doors open and he tells the bus driver *in a retarded voice* "take me too 16th street* and the bus's doors close and the bus takes off in a hurry, the retarded man was confused. Next day, the retarded man waited at the bus station, and the bus again pulls up, and the retarded man said "take me to 16th street" and again the bus drives off in a hurry, the retarded man being very confused by now. Now the retarded man was being suied by the bus driver, and was in court. And the judge asked the bus driver what is the problem, and he replies * in a retarded voice* "he twas makin fun of me"
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I dont get it :(
 
I got one almost as short-

I got 2 short jokes and 1 long one- "joke, joke, jooooke."


when my friend told me that, i almost punched him.
 
A young boy arrives home from school earlier than usual. His mom asks him why he is home so early, and he responds by telling her that he was sent home for having sex with his teacher. Shocked, his mom sends him to his room and says, "Stay up there until your father gets home."

After a few hours his dad arrives, walks upstairs to the boys room and says, "Son, I heard you had sex with your teacher today. I'd just like to say that I'm proud of you and I want to go and buy you that new bike you've been wanting."

The boy then says, "Dad, can I get a football instead? My ass is killing me."
 
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