two different heart aches
the first one was the first girl i ever did date
i was 17 and she was really pretty
and i was like "what the fuck how am i dating this girl"
anyway, it was pretty great for 8 months
first everything with her besides anal stuff. Sometimes she was a tad bitchy but it wasn't anything crazy towards me, just towards other people, so i was like "alright whatever"
lots of sex, lots of chill times
she went to germany for a month in the summer for an exchange program and i got a postcard and we spoke twice on the phone. I didn't think much of it, shes in a different country ffs. So i jammed to Guns n Roses first album all day eeery day and hung with my boys
A week or less before she gets home, a friend of mine says
"yo chris, did you know alex has a live journal?" And i'm all nah man, so?
"Well shes saying some pretty fucked up shit on it dude"
...well why dont ya link me buuuuuuuddy
So he does and i read some stuff
mainly the first post i read is some questionairre thing
"last person you kissed last person you talked to" that kinda shit
well based on her answers she was making out with eeeeryone in duetchsland
I had asked her not to smoke while over there since at the time i didnt like cigs or pot or even drinking (lol lame = me) and she TOTALLY DID.
so making outs and being drunk and crazy
To my first relationship brain, it was too much
I flipped out and threw shit around my room and cried and was all WHAT THE FUCK ALEX WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS Q_Q
i had even planned my first semester at college in such a way to give me fridays off so i could come visit on weekends (i never once had a friday class through my entire collegate career)
When she got home i played it cool. I'd had enough time to go passive agressive. She didnt know i knew about her secret journal thingy.
One of her friends nicknamed her BJ Alex while in Germany. I never got to the bottom of that, she played it off and at this point i didnt give a damn. I found some drugs in her room since this was the first time i snooped, and saw some photos of her being crazy and stupid to my eyes at the time.
So we screw a few times and then its the next week. Her parents are out of town for the whole week.
I man up and break up with her the first day of the 7 day without parents fuck fest, citing
"i fell out of love with you"
never told her why.
So it broke my heart and took me 4 months to get over. I made a good girl friend and her and her mom and i would talk about that shit and eventually i got over it
prologue
I had the chance this past month to re-read the questionaire since i had apparently saved it to my computer
in my wisened eyes, the only thing that was shitty was the kissing. She repeatedly put that she loved me, i'm her best friend, that kind of shit. And now, knowing what its like to live in another country for months, i dont find what she did all that bad at all. Plus i drink and smoke so that doesnt bother me none.
cliffs:
first girlfriend cheated on me with guys by kissing them
second one coming in a bit.
I could just talk about all my exs if you wanted
we tried to get back together a few weeks later, but as i've learned...once i break up with a girl, i can never go back to them. I was cold and distant and gone.
I've thought about emailing her and telling her whats up from the future and why i broke her heart
but then i feel that would be lame
the first one was the first girl i ever did date
i was 17 and she was really pretty
and i was like "what the fuck how am i dating this girl"
anyway, it was pretty great for 8 months
first everything with her besides anal stuff. Sometimes she was a tad bitchy but it wasn't anything crazy towards me, just towards other people, so i was like "alright whatever"
lots of sex, lots of chill times
she went to germany for a month in the summer for an exchange program and i got a postcard and we spoke twice on the phone. I didn't think much of it, shes in a different country ffs. So i jammed to Guns n Roses first album all day eeery day and hung with my boys
A week or less before she gets home, a friend of mine says
"yo chris, did you know alex has a live journal?" And i'm all nah man, so?
"Well shes saying some pretty fucked up shit on it dude"
...well why dont ya link me buuuuuuuddy
So he does and i read some stuff
mainly the first post i read is some questionairre thing
"last person you kissed last person you talked to" that kinda shit
well based on her answers she was making out with eeeeryone in duetchsland
I had asked her not to smoke while over there since at the time i didnt like cigs or pot or even drinking (lol lame = me) and she TOTALLY DID.
so making outs and being drunk and crazy
To my first relationship brain, it was too much
I flipped out and threw shit around my room and cried and was all WHAT THE FUCK ALEX WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS Q_Q
i had even planned my first semester at college in such a way to give me fridays off so i could come visit on weekends (i never once had a friday class through my entire collegate career)
When she got home i played it cool. I'd had enough time to go passive agressive. She didnt know i knew about her secret journal thingy.
One of her friends nicknamed her BJ Alex while in Germany. I never got to the bottom of that, she played it off and at this point i didnt give a damn. I found some drugs in her room since this was the first time i snooped, and saw some photos of her being crazy and stupid to my eyes at the time.
So we screw a few times and then its the next week. Her parents are out of town for the whole week.
I man up and break up with her the first day of the 7 day without parents fuck fest, citing
"i fell out of love with you"
never told her why.
So it broke my heart and took me 4 months to get over. I made a good girl friend and her and her mom and i would talk about that shit and eventually i got over it
prologue
I had the chance this past month to re-read the questionaire since i had apparently saved it to my computer
in my wisened eyes, the only thing that was shitty was the kissing. She repeatedly put that she loved me, i'm her best friend, that kind of shit. And now, knowing what its like to live in another country for months, i dont find what she did all that bad at all. Plus i drink and smoke so that doesnt bother me none.
cliffs:
first girlfriend cheated on me with guys by kissing them
second one coming in a bit.
I could just talk about all my exs if you wanted
we tried to get back together a few weeks later, but as i've learned...once i break up with a girl, i can never go back to them. I was cold and distant and gone.
I've thought about emailing her and telling her whats up from the future and why i broke her heart
but then i feel that would be lame
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