OT: Very Sick Jokes(WARNING)
- Thread starter Sircle
- Start date
Dude, I can totally laugh at myself. I'm a complete retard and profess this often. It's others I am worried about. I am only asking you all to be weary of making a bad impression on some of the younger black kids that may come here.
They are jokes, simply jokes. God, people shouldn't get offended at jokes. Now, I understand if they would, if I said something racial right to their face. But, words typed on the screen, grow up a little. White jokes never, and will never bother me. It is like the only way that someone can be racial, is against black people. People make it out like crackers are the only racists when that is not the case.
You don't have to tell me man. I grew up in DC, I also spent time in a lot of fox-holes in the Army. I have stared reverse discrimination/racism straight in the face on several occasions on many levels. It wasn't cool! Be weary of your harmless jokes and your easy rationalizations man.
No flame intended. Just preachin some of my hypocritical nonsense.
No flame intended. Just preachin some of my hypocritical nonsense.
A fellow was on his honeymoon near his favorite fishing lake and he would fish from dawn to dark with his favorite fishing guide. One day the guide, friend of many years, mentioned that the honeymoon seemed to be spent fishing.
"Yes, but you know how I love to fish..."
"But aren't you newlyweds supposed to be into something else?"
"Yes, but she's got gonorrhea; and you know how I love to fish"
A few hours later, "I understand, but that's not the only way to have sex."
"I know, but she's got diarrhea; and you know how I love to fish..."
The following day: "Sure, but that's still not the only way to have sex."
"Yeah, but she's got phyrrea(*); and you know how I love to fish..."
Late that afternoon, thoroughly frustrated: "I guess I'm not sure why you'd marry someone with health problems like that."
"It's 'cause she's also got worms; and you know I just love to fish..."
(*)Mouth rot
"Yes, but you know how I love to fish..."
"But aren't you newlyweds supposed to be into something else?"
"Yes, but she's got gonorrhea; and you know how I love to fish"
A few hours later, "I understand, but that's not the only way to have sex."
"I know, but she's got diarrhea; and you know how I love to fish..."
The following day: "Sure, but that's still not the only way to have sex."
"Yeah, but she's got phyrrea(*); and you know how I love to fish..."
Late that afternoon, thoroughly frustrated: "I guess I'm not sure why you'd marry someone with health problems like that."
"It's 'cause she's also got worms; and you know I just love to fish..."
(*)Mouth rot
G
Guest
Guest
I agree. By eliminating the terrible problem of "racist" jokes the much less severe issue of racism in socioty will soon crumble.
Which reminds me...
What is the difference between BATman and a BLACK man?
BATman can go out at night without ROBIN!!!
Which reminds me...
What is the difference between BATman and a BLACK man?
BATman can go out at night without ROBIN!!!
[MoM] Gort
Veteran XX
FngrBANG said:
Got two:
If you believe in creation as espoused in the Bible, then Adam and Eve's children would actually have had to have sex with one another for the earth to have become populated.
This is surely proof positive that Alabama was at one time the Garden of Eden
and...
Billy-Bob was walking into town one day wearing nothing but his gun and his boots. Just as he began walking down Main Street he was confronted by the Sheriff.
"Hey, Billy-Bob, ya mind if I ask you what you are doin' walkin' down Main Street wearin' nothin' but your gunbelt and boots?"
"Well Sheriff, it's a long story."
"I ain't going nowhere", said the Sheriff.
"Well Sheriff, a couple hours ago I ran into Mary Lou in the saloon. We had ourselves a couple of drinks and then we started to feelin' kinda frisky and Mary Lou said, 'Why don't we go out to the barn?' So we did. Then we started getting real close and cuddin' and smoochin' and Mary Lou said, 'Why don't we go out back and go up to the top of the hill.' So we did."
He continued, "We started cuddlin' and smoochin' some more and the next thing I know, Mary Lou had taken off all her clothes and she suggested that I do the same. So I did, all except my gunbelt and boots. then Mary Lou laid down on the ground and spread her legs apart and said 'Okay,Billy-Bob, go to town'.
Coprophobia
Veteran X
x0lent said:
[Barf]
DeadlyRabbit
Veteran XV
What is more gross than a pile of dead babies?
The live one at the bottom trying to eat its way out.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Three,if you throw real hard.
The live one at the bottom trying to eat its way out.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Three,if you throw real hard.
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My favorite limerick of all time, from Space Moose:
There once was a young fellow named Brad
Who was anally raped by his dad
Brad turned twenty-one
and bought a big gun
And fucked up his dad really bad
There once was a young fellow named Brad
Who was anally raped by his dad
Brad turned twenty-one
and bought a big gun
And fucked up his dad really bad
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel sticking out of his zipper.
The bartender says, "Hey, Did you know you have a steering wheel attached to your willie?"
The pirate replies, "Aye! It's driving me nuts!"
There was a young man called Dave
Who kept a dead whore in a cave
" I know its disgusting,
and often needs dusting,
but think of the money I save!"
5 Counterproductive Pick-Up Lines
1) If you and I were squirrels, I could bust a nut in your hole.
2) How do you like your eggs: fried, scrambled or fertilized?
3) My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.
4) If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas, then could I meet you between the holidays?
5) How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I'll give you the meat.
The bartender says, "Hey, Did you know you have a steering wheel attached to your willie?"
The pirate replies, "Aye! It's driving me nuts!"
There was a young man called Dave
Who kept a dead whore in a cave
" I know its disgusting,
and often needs dusting,
but think of the money I save!"
5 Counterproductive Pick-Up Lines
1) If you and I were squirrels, I could bust a nut in your hole.
2) How do you like your eggs: fried, scrambled or fertilized?
3) My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.
4) If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas, then could I meet you between the holidays?
5) How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I'll give you the meat.
What's the differance between a bucket or KFC and a black man?
A bucket of KFC can feed a family of four.
Yeah, yeah, rasis, blah... I love black people!
A bucket of KFC can feed a family of four.
Yeah, yeah, rasis, blah... I love black people!
A new captain arrives at a military base in the desert.
After a few weeks, the captain starts getting "urges" and asks a private what guys normally do to "relieve" themselves.
The private replies: "Theres a camel out back that we..."
The captain cuts him off, disgusted, and walks away.
Time drags on and the captain gets more and more desperate, finally, he gives in and uses the camel.
He runs into the private the next day and says: "son, that camel isn't so bad, does everyone fuck it?"
The private replies: "Sir, everyone just rides it to the whorehouse in the village."
After a few weeks, the captain starts getting "urges" and asks a private what guys normally do to "relieve" themselves.
The private replies: "Theres a camel out back that we..."
The captain cuts him off, disgusted, and walks away.
Time drags on and the captain gets more and more desperate, finally, he gives in and uses the camel.
He runs into the private the next day and says: "son, that camel isn't so bad, does everyone fuck it?"
The private replies: "Sir, everyone just rides it to the whorehouse in the village."
DeadlyRabbit
Veteran XV
A man walks into a bank, walks up to one of the women and says, "I want to open a fucking checking account."
She says, "Sir, would you please watch your language!"
He says, "Fuck my language. I want to open a fucking checking account."
She says, "Sir! If you don't watch your language, I'm going to have to get the manager."
He says, "I don't give a damn about watching my fucking language! I want to open a fucking checking account!"
She leaves and gets the manager. The manager walks up to the man and says, "What seems to be the problem?"
He says, "I just won thirty million dollars in the motherfucking lottery, and I want to open a fucking checking account."
The manager jerks his thumb toward the teller and says, "Is this bitch giving you trouble?"
This is from the the Drew Carey book "Dirty Jokes and Beer."
She says, "Sir, would you please watch your language!"
He says, "Fuck my language. I want to open a fucking checking account."
She says, "Sir! If you don't watch your language, I'm going to have to get the manager."
He says, "I don't give a damn about watching my fucking language! I want to open a fucking checking account!"
She leaves and gets the manager. The manager walks up to the man and says, "What seems to be the problem?"
He says, "I just won thirty million dollars in the motherfucking lottery, and I want to open a fucking checking account."
The manager jerks his thumb toward the teller and says, "Is this bitch giving you trouble?"
This is from the the Drew Carey book "Dirty Jokes and Beer."