Man, this thread reminds me of my virgin days. I was 16 at the time and dating this girl, but I wanted to get in her panties and didn't know how to go about it. I was robo-tripping (robitussin - 8 oz.) with some friends, and I asked for their advice.
One friend said, with a completely straight face, "Dude, duh, just bend her over the couch and stick in her butt." I just stared at him with my mouth hanging open thinking that was seriously the way it was done. I don't think I caught on until the following day, but Robitussin seriously fucks with you.