Married With Children pretty much best tv show ever
- Thread starter Brontez
- Start date
bowl of blood
Contributor
INT. BUNDY LIVING ROOM/KITCHEN - A WEEK LATER - NIGHT
(AL IS ON THE COUCH AND PEGGY IS ON THE PHONE)
PEGGY (ON PHONE) Well, it's not my fault. I'm sure he'll peep me in his own good time. Goodbye, Mom.
(PEGGY HANGS UP)
PEGGY Well, the peeper is still working the neighborhood. Everyone has been peeped twice and here I am
peepless.
AL (DULLY) Oh, Peg. Seeing you sitting there on the phone, really turns me on...
PEGGY Oh, shut up, Al. You think I'm really satisfied hearing you say "28, 29, 30, I'm outta here"?
Now, I am going upstairs to try on some clothes in the window.
(PEGGY EXITS UPSTAIRS)
AL Maybe I oughta get a job in the bomb squad. At least then there'll be hope.
(KELLY AND BUD ENTER FROM UPSTAIRS)
BUD Hi, Dad. Whatcha doing?
AL Sittin' by the dock of the bay, wastin' time. Is she learning anything?
BUD Kelly, what's the Bill of Rights?
KELLY The first ten Amendments to the Constitution.
BUD What are the three main types of clouds?
KELLY There are three. Cumulus, cirrus and stratus.
BUD What is a synapse?
KELLY The junction -- a microscopic gap, actually -- of two neighboring neurons, or nerve cells.
(AL STARES)
AL It's incredible. Good job, Bud.
(BUD SITS NEXT TO AL)
BUD Thanks, Dad. But there is one slight problem. See, if you take a gallon of knowledge and pour it
into a shot glass of a brain, you're gonna spill some. In other words, certain basic information
had to be sacrificed.
AL Like what?
SFX: DOORBELL
KELLY What was that?
(BUD LOOKS BACK AT AL, THEN, TO KELLY)
BUD The doorbell.
KELLY Ah. (BEAT) Who's the old guy?
BUD That's Dad.
KELLY Oh. (BEAT, THEN TO AL) Are you our dog?
(BUD FORCES A SMILE AND LEADS KELLY UPSTAIRS. THE DOORBELL RINGS AGAIN)
KELLY (PROUDLY) Doorbell.
(BUD PATS HER SHOULDER ENCOURAGINGLY. THEY EXIT UPSTAIRS, AS AL OPENS THE DOOR. STEVE ENTERS)
(AL IS ON THE COUCH AND PEGGY IS ON THE PHONE)
PEGGY (ON PHONE) Well, it's not my fault. I'm sure he'll peep me in his own good time. Goodbye, Mom.
(PEGGY HANGS UP)
PEGGY Well, the peeper is still working the neighborhood. Everyone has been peeped twice and here I am
peepless.
AL (DULLY) Oh, Peg. Seeing you sitting there on the phone, really turns me on...
PEGGY Oh, shut up, Al. You think I'm really satisfied hearing you say "28, 29, 30, I'm outta here"?
Now, I am going upstairs to try on some clothes in the window.
(PEGGY EXITS UPSTAIRS)
AL Maybe I oughta get a job in the bomb squad. At least then there'll be hope.
(KELLY AND BUD ENTER FROM UPSTAIRS)
BUD Hi, Dad. Whatcha doing?
AL Sittin' by the dock of the bay, wastin' time. Is she learning anything?
BUD Kelly, what's the Bill of Rights?
KELLY The first ten Amendments to the Constitution.
BUD What are the three main types of clouds?
KELLY There are three. Cumulus, cirrus and stratus.
BUD What is a synapse?
KELLY The junction -- a microscopic gap, actually -- of two neighboring neurons, or nerve cells.
(AL STARES)
AL It's incredible. Good job, Bud.
(BUD SITS NEXT TO AL)
BUD Thanks, Dad. But there is one slight problem. See, if you take a gallon of knowledge and pour it
into a shot glass of a brain, you're gonna spill some. In other words, certain basic information
had to be sacrificed.
AL Like what?
SFX: DOORBELL
KELLY What was that?
(BUD LOOKS BACK AT AL, THEN, TO KELLY)
BUD The doorbell.
KELLY Ah. (BEAT) Who's the old guy?
BUD That's Dad.
KELLY Oh. (BEAT, THEN TO AL) Are you our dog?
(BUD FORCES A SMILE AND LEADS KELLY UPSTAIRS. THE DOORBELL RINGS AGAIN)
KELLY (PROUDLY) Doorbell.
(BUD PATS HER SHOULDER ENCOURAGINGLY. THEY EXIT UPSTAIRS, AS AL OPENS THE DOOR. STEVE ENTERS)
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