OT: Very Sick Jokes(WARNING)

The scot joke was a direct rip from this song

The Scotsman, Dr Demento (http://www.prismnet.com/~kelem/tw/Dr.%20Demento%20-%20The%20Scotsman.mp3)

:bump:

just something my mom told me a long time ago

A man walks into a bar completely full of people dancing and such,and he has to take a shit really bad, so he asks around trying to find out where the bathroom is but nobody seems to know, he walks all over and cant seem to find one all the while holding his stomach cause he has to shit so badly. He finally walks upstairs and still doesnt see a bathroom, the only thing in sight is a hole in the floor, he sits down and shits like crazy. After he is done he walks back downstairs and it is totally empty except for the bartender, he walks over to him and asks " where did everybody go?" bartender replies " where were you when the shit hit the fan?"

this looks like a good resurection thread...

membar bump

I will have you all know that I had the 100th post of this thread:


100 - Posted 06-27-2001 01:47 AM

^^^ soggynuts' post == downside of threads like this.


In response to someone who posted something that wasn't even a joke. Bottom of page 5 I think.

6-27-2001 . . . wow. html tags, too . . . weird . . .

k well... I'm going to add a couple anyways

How do you know if you have a high sperm count?

Your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows



What does spinach and anal sex have in common?

if you were forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult

So I was fucking this chick the other day. And what can I say, I got bored, so I turned her over for some anal. She turns back over in anger and says "thats pretty damned presumptuous of you!"

Shocked I replied with "Presumptuous? Now thats a big word for a 10 year old"

bump.

whats better than fucking a 7 year old vietnamese boy in the ass???

NOTHING

not funny.

:[

not reading through all this but, so could have already been said...

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?















1 if you throw it hard enough

A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read.

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.

She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book.

Along comes a law enforcement officer in his boat.


He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing? "Reading a book," she replies, (thinking "isn't it obvious?")


"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.


"I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."


"Yes, but you have all the equipment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."


"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.


"But I haven't even touched you," says the officer."


"That's true, but you have all the equipment."


The Officer says "have a nice day".


MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

What's the difference between dead babies and rocks, you ask?

Well, you can't eat 8 pounds of rocks in one sitting.



Moral of the story:



Dead babies taste good.

:rofl:

An 80 year old man went into the confessional and told the priest the following:

"Father, I am an 80 year old man, I'm married, I have 4 children and 11 grandchildren. Last night I strayed and had an affair with two 18 year old girls. We partied and made love all night long."

The priest said, "My son, when was the last time you were at confession?"

The old man said, "I have never been to confession, I'm Jewish."

The priest said, "Then why are you here telling me this?"

The old man said, "Father, I'm telling everyone!"

:rofl: i fucking love this thread (i made most of the women jokes my away messages)

You hear the one about the cannibal that dumped his girlfriend?

You hear the one about the cannibal that dumped his girlfriend?

yes, check page 14 or 15

edit: 12