I caught my ex's new boyfriend sucking his own dick.

stfu vet^3
Your yellow title does not scare me!

Update pls

wtf did i miss this?

great read :rofl:

I am approaching critical mass.

Seth and a friend of his came by my house last night at about 3:30 am. My dad's dog (he lives next door to me) started barking and woke me up. She never barks unless she's aware of something near the house. There are all kinds of animals in the woods behind us, so at first I thought it was probably a deer or something. Then I heard a car door shut.

I grabbed one of the swords (yes I have swords as well as machetes) that I keep next to my bed and looked out the window. There was a car I didn't recognize parked on the street in front of the next apartment. There is a new tenant there, so I thought that maybe it was them.

Then I saw a figure dart past MY car. It looked like he was kneeling on the passenger side. I flipped on the porch light and the motherfucker stood up, FROZE like a deer in headlights, looked straight at my window, and then started running up the street.

I just about ripped my door off its hinges trying to get out fast enough. I drew my sword and took off after him. I had lost precious seconds unlocking the 3 locks on my door and getting it open so he had a good head start.

"OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR! HE'S GOT A FUCKING AXE!"
The passenger door flew open.
"GO GO GO GO GO!"
The dude was hardly halfway in the car as they began to roll out.
I yelled "I'LL BREAK YOUR NECK YOU GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKER!" while waving my sword in the air. :ninjafury:

I noticed that whomever it was messing around my car (It wasn't Seth... this guy was built differently) was kind of limping or running oddly when I was chasing him.

I found this when I checked my car for any damage (there was none):

http://www.isaboo.net/shoe.jpg

The asshole lost a shoe while running from me.

I called the cops, filed ANOTHER report, and filled them in on the story so far. The car didn't have a license plate, but I gave a good description of it.

The shitstain messing around my car had some balls. He wasn't deterred when my dad's dog started barking. Personally I would have aborted the mission at that point if I were him. I'm sure his balls crawled up inside of him when I came out with my sword though. I was gonna cut those fuckers off if I caught him.

The officer I spoke with said that the incident report will not be available until Tuesday because of the Easter weekend. I will get both reports and post them as soon as I'm able... probably Wednesday.

complete and utter bullshit

full of shit as an x-mas turkey

That wasn't has funny. Probably just some nigs out for a fun time.

hahah crazy
dude, if you know KARaTEEEEEEEEE... fuck the swords
do it bruce lee styleee nig

what are you going do cut his fucking head off?

Whomever it was, I'm seriously about to lose my cool about all of this.

Edit: No, I wasn't going to cut his head off. I'm sure I wouldn't have attacked him with the sword. It was for intimidation and it seems to have worked.

I bet it was YOU sucking your own dick

this is just a poor attempt at a coverup

Whomever it was, I'm seriously about to lose my cool about all of this.
Use this has a good exceuse to move out of White Trashville.

Goddamn Isaboo. This is getting more and more absurd.
If it was anyone other than you i'd call bullshit.

provide some real evidence, please.

Goddamn Isaboo. This is getting more and more absurd.
If it was anyone other than you i'd call bullshit.

Try living through this crap... it has gone way past 'absurd'.

provide some real evidence, please.

As I said, the police reports will be available on Tuesday which means I can probably have them scanned and posted on Wednesday.

http://img40.exs.cx/img40/8950/seth1gi.jpg

:rofl:

This will defintely get the thread of the year because it is has a great openning, great climax and soon to come a great ending

damn, this story's getting insane

pahuyuth, time to get an ak (preferably 2) and let the nigs have it.

Sounds like you need to get a restraining order against seth. It will be nice if you have to both go to court and you explain what happened.

Sounds like you need to get a restraining order against seth. It will be nice if you have to both go to court and you explain what happened.

Yes, this is the next step for sure unless I end up killing him (no not really). Megan and I are each going to file one at the same time.

thanks for the first post edit updates. i dig.