Obscured.Cherub
05-29-2003, 09:45 PM
I know this is probably the worst place to talk about this, but a lot of times through the thick of the flames someone actually gives good advice, which is what I need right now.
My friend Julia who I've known for close to 8 years now has down syndrome. My mom used to take care of kids who had disabilities and that's basically how I got to know her. Dont' believe everything you see in the movies and on TV's or what not, people with down syndrome can communicate and have fun just like everyone else they just do it in a different way. Over teh years we've grown really close as friends, and not until lately have I had any romantic feelings for her whatsoever.
The problem started about a month ago, we were hanging out at my moms house waiting for her to get back from the store so she could drive her home. We were watching TV by each other (we always sat close just cause I dunno) when I don't know what drove me to do this but I wanted to see what she did if I put her hand by my crotch. She didn't do anything, and I know from all these years that she doesn't really recognize things that are innapropriate in public (burping, passing gas, laughing loud at movies etc) so I didn't think she would understand what I was doing. So I put her hand on myself and kind of moved it back and forth. After a little while she was doing it on her own and from what I thought didn't understand what she was doing until she kissed me. I was shocked at first because I thought she must not know what she was doing so I just kind of took her hand away and ignored it. Then she did it again and kissed me on my ear. Anyone who has worked with these kinds of children knows that when they do something they shouldn't you don't freak out and get mad.. but I wasn't sure how to react because she had never done anything this crazy before so I just let her do it because I didn't know how to react. she kept doing it and eventually I wanted to touch her back, so I did and things just started.
I was too worried at the time that my mom would come home so I had to stop it. I was so worried she would say something on the ride home with my mom that it nearly drove me crazy, but my mom didn't say anything so I know she didn't. In the next few weeks we kept doing this (she is always over there on mon tues and thurs) and eventually...we had sex.
I didn't want it to happen, but I'm only human. We were created to have sexual desires for the opposite sex and I can't fight that, and I DO like her as a friend. I've tried to make it stop but now she's coming to me for it every time and I just can't help it. One side of me is completely sickened by the idea, then the other side of me loves every second of it. Anyway, I'm at a loss of what to do. I can't make her stop coming around, and I don't feel like I can stop doing this with her.
This isn't a thread for flames, I just need to know what I should do?
My friend Julia who I've known for close to 8 years now has down syndrome. My mom used to take care of kids who had disabilities and that's basically how I got to know her. Dont' believe everything you see in the movies and on TV's or what not, people with down syndrome can communicate and have fun just like everyone else they just do it in a different way. Over teh years we've grown really close as friends, and not until lately have I had any romantic feelings for her whatsoever.
The problem started about a month ago, we were hanging out at my moms house waiting for her to get back from the store so she could drive her home. We were watching TV by each other (we always sat close just cause I dunno) when I don't know what drove me to do this but I wanted to see what she did if I put her hand by my crotch. She didn't do anything, and I know from all these years that she doesn't really recognize things that are innapropriate in public (burping, passing gas, laughing loud at movies etc) so I didn't think she would understand what I was doing. So I put her hand on myself and kind of moved it back and forth. After a little while she was doing it on her own and from what I thought didn't understand what she was doing until she kissed me. I was shocked at first because I thought she must not know what she was doing so I just kind of took her hand away and ignored it. Then she did it again and kissed me on my ear. Anyone who has worked with these kinds of children knows that when they do something they shouldn't you don't freak out and get mad.. but I wasn't sure how to react because she had never done anything this crazy before so I just let her do it because I didn't know how to react. she kept doing it and eventually I wanted to touch her back, so I did and things just started.
I was too worried at the time that my mom would come home so I had to stop it. I was so worried she would say something on the ride home with my mom that it nearly drove me crazy, but my mom didn't say anything so I know she didn't. In the next few weeks we kept doing this (she is always over there on mon tues and thurs) and eventually...we had sex.
I didn't want it to happen, but I'm only human. We were created to have sexual desires for the opposite sex and I can't fight that, and I DO like her as a friend. I've tried to make it stop but now she's coming to me for it every time and I just can't help it. One side of me is completely sickened by the idea, then the other side of me loves every second of it. Anyway, I'm at a loss of what to do. I can't make her stop coming around, and I don't feel like I can stop doing this with her.
This isn't a thread for flames, I just need to know what I should do?