question for Inf aka Infinite

Glare

Veteran XX
how do i become "Mr Pretty Dick" bro?

i've tried everything but it still looks like a shrink-wrapped arm clutching a softball
 
not all of us were blessed with bulging sculpted frames and the ability to pull a lat flare that could make goldberg (pre-2002 goldberg) cry.

so we have to work with what we have

thankfully i have the prettiest goddamn dick anyone has ever seen. it's like ceaser's nose. augustus, not julius.
 
i have tried everything

conditioner for my pubic mane, lifting 2 lb dumbbells with an erection, using turtle wax on the dome

NOTHING WORKS

so what is this DMT and can i get some at my local CVS
 
i fall asleep to the sounds of richards simmons pretty dick motivational speeches every night

i believe
 
i just said it (twice actually) and now ive got a meeting with HR

should i tell HR what im trying to accomplish or will that jinx it
 
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