Women and how they blow things out of proportion

M

Mirage

Veteran X
Have you ever said something that she took badly for no reason and then she built it up to be a huge shitstorm despite you explaining what you really meant?

If I could represent such episodes graphically, it'd go like this


. .....


AND it's irreversible.

psychos.
 
How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be opened when she brings it.
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me."
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How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to
build up the required pressure.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told

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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men until they can

walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
gut, and still think they are sexy.
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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.

Then God created Woman.

Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. Boy ain't this the truth!
 
We all know girls are fucking crazy fucking psychotic bitches.

I don't think we need any more threads on the subject.
 
you know, i always thought i understood women completely, especially my fiancee, but now i have discovered this psycho side to her.. the side all men have whined about when i was just telling them they suck.

i tihnk i have seen the truth. :(
 
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

:lol:
 
just look at women when you talk to them. You can see the gears turning and shifting and taking every word you say as some obscure language. The then mull over every word you have said to them for days and days. Then once they have their period. Their hormones shoot threw the roof. They have epiphanys about why you don't like them, or why you don't show as much affection anymore. And then all hell breaks loose. The gunk comes out their vagina. They get bitchy and they take everything out on you, and bring up shit you said at the start of her last cycle and just try and take you on a guilt trip.

fuck em.
 
yea, and then don't even try to calm them down, it'll just give them more ammo.

i'm so pissed right now.
 
|vm| said:
yea, and then don't even try to calm them down, it'll just give them more ammo.

i'm so pissed right now.
Click to expand...

You think that's bad...wait until you get married....

the real firework won't begin until your first child.

Before marriage, I did all my laundry in one load, sure I've had 3 laundry accidents, dyed my clothes in a variety of colors but after that, I'm safe for a long time...Now, laundry is sorted to at least 3 different bags, you can no longer wash everything as white (hot water, etc.).

It gets better and better.... :)
 
Ironically if this thread was titled Forum Trolls and how they blow things out of proportion this would be your autobiography vm.
 
Blitzkrieg said:
You think that's bad...wait until you get married....

the real firework won't begin until your first child.

Before marriage, I did all my laundry in one load, sure I've had 3 laundry accidents, dyed my clothes in a variety of colors but after that, I'm safe for a long time...Now, laundry is sorted to at least 3 different bags, you can no longer wash everything as white (hot water, etc.).

It gets better and better.... :)
Click to expand...

pussy wipped bitch why are you doing laundry :)
 
|vm| said:
you know, i always thought i understood women completely, especially my fiancee, but now i have discovered this psycho side to her.. the side all men have whined about when i was just telling them they suck.

i tihnk i have seen the truth. :(
Click to expand...

dood, give me a break the sooner you except that they are all crazy...yes your girlfriend as well..the better of and happier you will be.

All women are psycho
women blow things up
they are irrational
they are selfish
yes the world revolves around each and everyone of them
I am sure there is more to add to the list.


I love my girlfriend she is great but ya she is bat shit crazy.
 
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look who's trolling, go away. :)

and yea i am kinda fearing marriage now, ugh. i love her and all but some of her sides are really showing now :/
 
two fellows are sitting in a bar and one of them says ' Charlie did I tell you that today is my 50th wedding aniversary?'
Charlie says 'You are one lucky bastard Jim, your wife never bitches or complains, and here you are on your anniversary, drinkin with the boys'
Jim looks at his buddy and says 'i'll tell ye the secret, if ya have a mind to know, it all started right after the wedding. the horse that pulled our carriage tripped over a culvert pipe right there at the church and i looked over at him and i says, that's one. about a mile up the road a model T scared him so he shied up, and i says to the horse, that's two. finally as we was turning into our lane he missed the ruts and gave us a terrible jolt. so i went into the house and got me rifle and shot that damn horse right between the eyes. well me wife she starts into me about shooting a perfectly good horse annd what the hell was wrong with me, so, i looks at her and i says ' that's one'.
 
bonepuppet said:
two fellows are sitting in a bar and one of them says ' Charlie did I tell you that today is my 50th wedding aniversary?'
Charlie says 'You are one lucky bastard Jim, your wife never bitches or complains, and here you are on your anniversary, drinkin with the boys'
Jim looks at his buddy and says 'i'll tell ye the secret, if ya have a mind to know, it all started right after the wedding. the horse that pulled our carriage tripped over a culvert pipe right there at the church and i looked over at him and i says, that's one. about a mile up the road a model T scared him so he shied up, and i says to the horse, that's two. finally as we was turning into our lane he missed the ruts and gave us a terrible jolt. so i went into the house and got me rifle and shot that damn horse right between the eyes. well me wife she starts into me about shooting a perfectly good horse annd what the hell was wrong with me, so, i looks at her and i says ' that's one'.
Click to expand...
:lol:
 
I say sorry for shit i had nothing to do with all the time...I think it one of those older wiser things....do I want to be right or do I want to be happy...
 
Kelven said:
I say sorry for shit i had nothing to do with all the time...I think it one of those older wiser things....do I want to be right or do I want to be happy...
Click to expand...

good point..i did end up apologizing to her.

you know why? I said sometihng that she completely twisted, then proceeded to insult me and after she apologized she made a huge shitstorm cuz ididnt want to apologize for something SHE completely twisted for no reason. despite my best efforts to calm her down, she just got more pissed.
 
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