t-276315 Whats the difference between a Liberal, Conservative and Southerner? [Flat] - TribalWar Forums

Whats the difference between a Liberal, Conservative and Southerner?

Yoda
02-22-2004, 10:14 AM
How do you tell the difference between a Liberal , a Conservative , and a Southerner?

Pose the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges.

You are carrying a Glock 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

Liberal Answer:

Well, that's not enough information! to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this
situation? Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.


Conservative Answer:

BANG!


Southerner's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

click...(sounds of reloading).

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.

Daughter: "Nice group, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"

Spiderman
02-22-2004, 10:15 AM
i would should him and i am pretty open minded

Yoda
02-22-2004, 10:16 AM
i would should him and i am pretty open minded

:huh:

Stits
02-22-2004, 10:16 AM
****ing southerner wasting precious ammo. :disgust:

Spiderman
02-22-2004, 10:17 AM
:huh:
i fit into the liberal state of mind but i would shoot his ass

Pancho Villa
02-22-2004, 10:18 AM
Liberals want change
Conservatives dont want change
Southeners want chicken and hooch

Yoda
02-22-2004, 10:19 AM
i fit into the liberal state of mind but i would shoot his ass

oh...

Ben Reed
02-22-2004, 10:19 AM
A real Southerner wouldn't waste ammo like that.

Myself, I probably would have knifed him, cleaned him right there in the alley, tanned him on a tenement clothesline, and made him into a nice jacket for any travels up North. I pride myself on being more of the Crocodile Dundee sort than the Clint Eastwood type.

Machine
02-22-2004, 10:21 AM
What is this supposed to be, a joke?

Ben Reed
02-22-2004, 10:22 AM
Liberals want change
Conservatives dont want change
Southeners want chicken and hooch

Personally, I hate chicken, but only because the little sister is a chicken FIEND. Thanks to her incessant lust for the flesh of the Rhode Island Red, I've become practically a meatetarian or whatever the hell the opposite of a vegetarian is.

Hard to beat good Southern-style biscuits, though, especially with honey and other sweet stuff (it's my brother who's more of a gravy fiend). Same goes with nice hot fruit cobbler with ice cream for desert.

Yes suh (to affect more of the Kentucky dialect), we in the South treat cobbler RIGHT.

Boomyguy
02-22-2004, 10:47 AM
Machine']What is this supposed to be, a joke?

I believe so.
pretty stupid ****, huh?

he definately made that up himself

Machine
02-22-2004, 11:02 AM
No, its probably a popular joke thats been circulated to hundreds of thousands of republicans.

Its a well known fact that the republican party has no funny people in it.

Cuthyone
02-22-2004, 11:04 AM
Yeah, it's not funny at all.

PoorDoggy
02-22-2004, 11:04 AM
Wow. That was retarded.

If you're going to make fun of liberals, at least be funny.

thespatalian
02-22-2004, 11:20 AM
Liberals want change
Conservatives dont want change
Southeners want chicken and hooch

GIVE ME MY CHICKEN AND HOOCH

haniblecter
02-22-2004, 11:25 AM
I thought this was going to be a ****** joke.

oh wel.

Leonidas Tzu
02-22-2004, 11:29 AM
Haha.......o wait..........

Kaiser
02-22-2004, 11:37 AM
You forgot the part where the Southerner ****s his daughter and then goes on Jerry Springer to air out their dirty laundry.